The power of a single word

By Howard E Cummins

Columnist

My grandfather was the backbone of my little family following the death of my father. He was my superman and teacher. As an avid student of Rudyard Kipling, he also believed and supported the philosophy to not just grow up but to grow up well. The word “if,” according to Kipling, if used as an excuse is a curse on reality and has brought great men down from the heights of greatness to the bottom pits of wanting too much, too soon and an endless road to disaster.

Grandfather never asked for an invitation, because his visits had reasons, most of which were out of love, and seldom because we boys had been bad. These visits were frequent and his counsel was very much respected by myself and my three brothers. We learned at an early age that he was intolerant of hearing us use this word as an excuse for an action or inaction in our daily lives. (As in, I would have made an A on my homework assignment “if” the dog hadn’t eaten it and it was turned in on time!)

My brothers and I honed at an early age our ability to cope with this man, who was over six feet in height, had blue penetrating eyes and who meant what he said. These many years later as a senior citizen myself I now have the personal understanding of the ability of folks who have already lived a full life to see the truth in the eyes of those who have been caught in a false incident.

Grandpa loved to read, especially the newspaper, and was always eager to receive our families copy as soon as I returned from finishing my East Stone Gap paper route. I fondly remember one of his visits when he accompanied me and afterwards sat me down and opened my Blue Horse Notebook to show me how to make detours to shorten by route so that I could be home earlier each day. When he was finished explaining his route suggestions, I said to him: “Grandpa, you said “if” six times.” He looked at me and started laughing. On that day I am confident that I became his favorite grandson.

When my grandfather was dying in a hospital in Jenkins, Kentucky, I was honored that he asked for me to visit by his bedside. I had just survived a terrible illness and he wanted to know if I was better. He took my hand and smiled and I sat with him until he fell asleep. Then I walked out and joined the family in another room where my grandmother held a seat of honor surrounded by the Davis Clan. She would survive for many additional years until the age of 99 and would champion in his wake my Grandpa’s doctrine to make life worthwhile without declaring the subjunctive “if” as an excuse for mistakes made in life. This seems to me a good message to share this week as we traditionally focus on positive resolutions in our New Year.

“If you can meet with disaster and handle it with wisdom and understanding, the worse can be handled with love.” (KIPLING)